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sillypost, mh/meds 

- trans
- girl
- fashion saccharine girly+scene witchy+slutty
- at nearly 40
- sapphic
- catgirl
- likes own tummy
- crop top + tummy + short-shorts
- made-up fake mental condition (adhd) (not actually fake)
- treated with addictive meds
- made-up fake mental condition (multiple identities) (not actually fake)
- proud, refusing pathologisation despite fitting the dsm-v
- works with it within folk mysticism instead
- socialist
- on expensive smartphone
- acquired for makeup selfies
- anarchist
- utopian
- open borders
- bonafide starbucks basic bitch
- makes french press coffee with the wrong grain size
- and puts sugar on it
- goes to sb for fun*
- vegan
- white witch
- doing tarot
- tiktok is good actually**
- provokes men on clubs then says no
- claims to be possessed, otherkin+religious rolled into one
- religious, not "spiritual agnostic"
- anti-free-speech, wants to censor Linux
- uses "wrong" punctuation***
- latinx immigrant
- who uses the word "latinx"
- on social benefits (soon)
- fantasy > sci-fi
- women, queer, Black fantasy/sci-fi > classics
- actively corrupting the English language
- supports animal rights activism
- including property destruction
- especially property destruction
- into sexualised pop dances

we continue in our journey to be the physical embodiment of everything techbros hate :blobcatfluffowo:

* not during covid
** the creators, the platform is trash
*** on purpose don't tell them sshh

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> Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be [a fiction writer etc.] was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal.

> And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain.


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about follow requests, current politics/tech situation, free speech discourse, conservatives get lost 

Hi new people! I'm being extra careful with follow requests at the moment due to a wave of

- fash scum exilees from neolib social media
- kiwifarms/channer infiltrators targeting me personally
- libertarian/free speech techbros enabling the former by federating with them, providing them with server space etc.

which has led to my toots being screenshoted, personal attacks, the whole jazz.

I won't accept your follow req if you don't have pronouns in bio, clear politics, and look like a real person with a history of good interaction. I might not accept your follow req even then if you’re not in a well-moderated instance with clear rules of conduct and a healthy blocklist.

if you want to debate the evils of censorship, kindly go federate with somebody else. Actually if you’re an instance admin do try to debate, this way I know to add your domain to the blocklist.

if you're right-wing and want to organise together against big tech, go suck my nonexistent balls.

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vegan cw ask, :boost_ok:​ 

TL;DR: CW animal products, including milk/honey/leather/wool/etc., including text.

That's the ask. I’ll just speak bluntly for the rest of this toot; please avoid reading it if the bitter tone is not good for you.


CW is the big one. CW your food posts for food, for the sake of people with eating issues and the like. But also mark them as nonvegan, meat, milk or however you prefer to word it. CW text-only posts talking about those things.

including milk, please. especially milk, please. there’s a reason for the vegan saying ‘dairy is the cruelest of all’. being reminded of what’s being done to dairy cows and their babies as we speak can ruin my mood for the rest of the day. on a vulnerable day it can, and has, more than once, reduced me to a blubbering crying mess. just tag it.

(fellow vegans: it is useful to CW food posts as "vegan" because so many people fail to mark animal abuse that I usually avoid clicking "food" toots, unless I know the person to be vegan.)

please also CW selfies or photos with things made of animal bodies, or things taken from animals, like animal leather, wool, horn, honey, beeswax etc. and CW animals in conditions of exploitation, like farm animals.

I’m not triggered by those things. It’s not abuse done to _me_ after all, I hold the speciesist privilege like all of us. I’m not disgusted or squeamish either, that’s not how any of this works. When I look at a photo with an animal product, I’m not looking at a piece of animal tissue and going ‘ew, gooey’. I’m looking at a nightmare machine of entirely unnecessary exploitation and pain, at a powerful ideological system wrapped around it to normalise it. I’m thinking of what was done to a living, feeling, sensitive being (or, in the case of milk, to a family) to produce that thing, and then trying to multiply it in my head times 990 million cows or 23 billion chickens etc. I can't help myself from doing the algebra of integer times pain. I’m thinking of what happens to human workers in the animal industry. I can’t turn it _off_, once I learned to see processes I can’t unsee them. I’m looking at my own impotence to make this absurd situation just stop, stop, at my own guilt to just carry on with life as if this inconceivable maelstrom of 100% avoidable, unbearable suffering didn’t matter.

So it’s a little bit depressing.


The other peeves are just terminological quibbles and not super important or anything, I understand why people say that and I take it in stride, they just reflect common misconceptions.

• Not "vegan diet". It's not a diet. Plant-based is a diet. Veganism is an ethical position; it's the observation that all beings capable of suffering are moral subjects. It’s no more a diet than ‘Kantian consequentialism’ or ‘Vedic nītiśāstra’. Reducing it to diet is already taken for granted the objectification of other animals which is just the point in question.

- Not "dietary restriction" either. If I don’t rob candy from a child I’m not restricting my diet, I’m trying to be a good person. Not eating honey robbed from bees is literally, exactly, exactly, the same.

- Not "you can/can’t eat this?" It’s not that I can’t eat a thing, it’s that I don’t want to.

- Not "but isn’t X is worse for global warming" (soy farming, palmtree industry etc.).

As it happens, the animal industry is terrible for the environment, and eating plants is a much more efficient use of resources (necessarily, because of trophic loss). If you think this or that form of animal exploitation is better for the environment chances are it’s capitalist propaganda and will turn out to be wrong upon examination. Even if we are thinking purely of saving humanity from the looming catastrophe, stopping animal exploitation is about the best measure we can take.

But this is just a happy coincidence. Even if it was the other way around and killing or enslaving other animals could save millions, it would be still wrong. The self-interest of humans, however aligned to it, is not the reason why it’s wrong. (In this hypothetical scenario, if we _had_ to choose, then I wouldn’t blame people for choosing self-preservation at the expense of other lives. But then the task would be to find out ways to get the necessary resources without all the killing. In our reality, that step is already given, all we needed was to figure out B12 production and that's long been solved.)

I don’t argue vegan stuff and I don’t ask for arguments, but leaving that aside, to bring me ecological (or, even worse, nutritional) arguments is to miss the point.

> Stannis: I know the cost! […] If Joffrey should die... what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?
> Davos: Everything.

(A Song of Ice and Fire)

re: clip from stream, zigbee, cybrepunk bisexual lighting 

those effects tho :blobcatshy:

(these are built into the lamps, I wrote a loop to trigger a random effect at random intervals)

Show thread

clip from stream, zigbee, cybrepunk bisexual lighting 

those light transitions tho >u<

eye contact clip, cybre 

streaming in 30min!

(ty @vy set them up like you suggested)

kink mention, silly 

my levels of intimacy with trans girls:

0: will have sex with you
1: will say hi I love your outfit
2: will provide emotional support
5: will invite you home and cook for you
10: will ask emotional support
20: will sing out loud near you
100: "do you want to see my pre-transition photos?"
300: will ask you to clean the dishes
400: will call you "bitch" as a casual vocative* (if you assure me it feels reclaimable to you too)
500: will confess problematic opinions
1000: "when you talk about ownership kink, how does that look like in your mind, in concrete terms, how do you dream of being owned"
10000: will ask for help with housekeeping

what's the next step for our gemini home? I guess a "what's new" of some sort — atom feed , and in-gemini links too.

notes on how this is done 

1. using the blue and magenta hexa colours from the game's logo

2. approximate lag value determined experimentally, so it looks like this:

gaylamps $friendly_name $transition $stay $valblue $valmagenta &

sleep (math $transition + $stay - $lag)

gaylamps $friendly_name2 $transition $stay $valblue $valmagenta


Show thread

re: IOT is kinda equally parts absurd and cool 

other ideas to do with my gift

- ascribe mystical significance to colours. run technomantic algorithm drawing from random, environmental, cosmological etc. sources, mix them up in a magically meaningful algorithm, output as colour. wake up, turn on room light, "oh it's a cyan-blue day".

- average color of game stream window, output it to bulb.
- output the complementary colour to bulb.
- put another lamp on desk, do analogous colours adjacent to dominant
- or do split complementary
- pick between analogous and split-complementary based on pulse beat of music, or franctiness of input
- for games where this is possible, stream with lighting reacting to internal game state somehow (e.g. day/night cycles, seasons, elemental magic…).

- cycle ordered pride colours as above through N lamps (e.g. for trans: bp>pw>wp>pb, bpw>pwp etc.)

- plug wal(1) into light bulbs

- install something like Simon, train it to listen to "moon prism power, ma~ke UP!" as a command to turn all lights to 5000K maximum brightness for doing makeup
- bonus: hook up the same command to turn makeup mirror LEDs with it (will need either to hack mirror, say force lights to always on and control via its usb power only, or get a new mirror)

- train self to read Morse
- make æsthetic Morse by encoding bits as complementary or matching hues rather than brightness

Show thread

re: testing cybre lights for stream, opinions wanted 

in either case I'll make the transitions slower ofc 😌

Show thread

re: testing cybre lights for stream, opinions wanted 

or I can just turn on the room light and bump down the white balance, then compensate for the chroma loss with software saturation

Show thread

testing cybre lights for stream, opinions wanted 

cybre lights only in colours gives a nice hue, but it’s too dark. I can bump up the gain on software, but then it washes out a bit

pretty proud of myselves for the thing yesterday ngl


just catched myself thinking "ugh math is exhausting, maybe i should read kant instead"

statements dreamed up by the utterly foolish

yes I know it’s not as popular as BBSes or Usenet are right now but mark my words, one day there will be more capsules than even gopher servers!!

mental health, happiness, friendship is magic, self-quote 

> about me being "not neurotic": this is an old psychiatric category, right? given my (so-called) hallucinations and multiple identities I guess in this old scheme I would be the psychotic xD hmm I like being psychotic it’s :blobcatmmm:

no seriously like most of us I struggle with depression, anxieties, dysfunction, shutting off for days etc. long ago I’ve taken the conscious decision to highlight the good parts in my online presence and I don’t regret it, I’ve come to the conclusion that positivity is good actually. sometimes I vent abt the bad things on the bitchy alt, locked, because I don’t want to spread it, I want to spread love and happiness 💖

but anybody who dates me has seen me cry, often, has dealt with the house being a pigpen etc. and like I said before I don’t think I would be able to endure all the bad stuff at all, if I didn’t have so many people caring for me.

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Personal server for trans moms <3